Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
