Pappa wants mamma naked
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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