Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
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I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
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that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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