i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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