I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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