WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
