I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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