so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
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We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
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i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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