Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
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