The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
