So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize