Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
