from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
