Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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