If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
