reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
