i jhust puked up my retainher.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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