That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize