Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
