do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
