I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
