I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
