Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
