There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
