I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
