My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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