K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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