and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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