Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I think I am morally bankrupt
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
