Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
