I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
