i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
