yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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