Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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