I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
