I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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