We're facebook friends in real life
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
whose parrot is this?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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