i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
True strength comes from lack of pants
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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