I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
