Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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