Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize