i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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