I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
