Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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