The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
