Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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