[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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