It's like a parade of train wrecks.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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