He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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