what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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