Jerry, you need to find god
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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