I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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