My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
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That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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