My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
are you so shy because you have an std?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
