I should be sponsored by Trojan
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
