redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
