babies were throwing up all over the place
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
