I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize