Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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