Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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