so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
