You're my little dorito
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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