Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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