the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
