I hate all girls vehemently.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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