I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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