I just threw up on my dentist
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
