Moan for me like Helen Keller
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize