I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
