The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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