woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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