We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
